Home Alone

Im so afraid of staying alone at home.. Alot of things to think..

Lots of NIGHTMARE.

You know last night, you told me "dumb, can you ask me that question again, and I'll break all ties with Leong?"
It was probably the best thing you could have said for me and for yourself ever since the whole thing happened.

But is wasnt from your heart.

I know it won't be easy. "Gui Ren" comes late. So long he's late but punctual.

E day

dumb dumb.. lately u really slp damn late and become very less energetic..

slp earlier ba.. ah dumb see u like tt very xing teng. jiayou k. anything need ah dumb help jing guan kai kou.

.the day we kissed, was the day you felt me in your heart.
.the day you went out with him was the 1st day you felt weird.
.the day you went out again was the day you you forgot ah dumb was waiting for you at home and still loving you.
.the day you went out for the 3rd time was the day you felt, "i think i have feelings for him, why not go on like this"
.the day you decided to go on hiding, was the day you shot me with a gun and made me look for you, bleeding and dying.
.the day you decided that you're guilty was the day you decided to reject me using ur own guilt.

you can cheat urself. but you cant lie to me.

dumb its some time since i updated this blog.. quite alot of things happened.. im not sure whether its better or its not better now.. but definitely.. its better for you.. wanting to play around without bearing any responsibility. but its no use talking abt all these anymore.. cos things like these are definitely not going to go into ur head..

some observations.. just for u only dumb..

everytime after u go out with leong..
1. you come back to me telling me that you're afraid that this 1/2 year of waiting might be a waste
2. you become very less sweet to me

i think, everyone in ambush sides with me. bt u just wan someone to side with you. dumb.. and these people are definitely your pan family and gang of 6.. who knows nth..

dumb i dun really feel like saying all these.. cos once again it makes u sad and its not going to get into ur brain.. bt.. at least let me voice out ba.. its ur last responsibility as my dumb, as my ex.

You're Forgiven The Moment u Asked for it

U know, dumb. Why am I able to forgive you.

you're young..
you're playful..
and.. you're my dumb..

its a good time to grow up.. and the decision u make.. determines how grown up u are.. really.

For my dumb.. my one and only dumb

dumb.. today u know when i 1st go ambush.. i totally low morale.. i think quite obvious.. so i told bernice.. i wanted someone to talk to.. cos i feel damn low..

and ya.. like over the phone wad i promised u.. if i hear the 3 words from you.. i'd quit dota.. i promise you..

dumb.. u wanna ren xing.. go and ren xing.. slowly clear ur thoughts.. but.. stay with me and ren xing can..

u blur le.. i'll guide u
u lost le.. i'll find a way out for u
u tired le.. i'll carry u out..

just dun leave me alone..

10.16am..

dumb.. its 10.16am. i slp 2 hrs only.. u know u ask me to take over ur shift.. den i say no.. cos you need e money.. den u dun wan reply le..

dumb.. u know.. within e 2 hrs.. my mind replay a same dream, or rather nightmare, over and over again..

"she dun wan me le"
"she dun wan me le"
"she dun wan me le"
"she dun wan me le"
"she dun wan me le"

now u know.. wad im thinking..

The aftermathe

u know dumb.. its 5am now. i just finish talking to u. over tt super chat..

i think i'll call u at 7.30am.. cos i cant slp.. u know i cant slp..

to be frank with u.. i sorta have 3 r/s. one with the girl at lemozione. one with peiyu. and one with you.. all 3 i really fu chu alot.. cos i dun think there will ever be a girl who will love me more than i love her. i thought that you might prove me wrong..

but i was wrong. i was wrong at wrong. haha!

you know.. i told u a lie just now. we wont last more than 2 weeks.

my past was a bad one.. present is going bad.. we'll be breaking soon.. u know why i wanna go taka see u.. cos i wanna see u.. if i see u tmr.. we'll have a chance.. if i dun see u tmr.. we dun stand a chance.. correction.. i dun stand a chance..

能多讲几句话算几句话
能多看一眼算一眼
能多抱一下算一下
能多亲一次算一次

sounds like im going to die like tt. but tts the fact.. really feel like dying.

today while working.. i look at someone.. den i was thinking.. wa.. if got tt girl also not bad.. can do max.. 事到如今 i already dun dare ask for more.. dunno which day you will tell me.. lets break..

本来不觉得你特别疼我

直到你不再疼爱我

以后已经过去

雨伞和雨衣不会再庇护我

本来不觉得你特别疼我

直到你不再疼我以后来不及了

手写的留言对象已经不会是我

all i wanna do is tell u..

dumb.. dun play me le can?

dumb.. bu yao ren xing le can?

dumb.. wo yao ni de gan qing can?

please...